Is it time to leave?

A record number of divorce filings were reported in China, after husbands and wives began emerging from weeks of mandated lockdowns and isolation. A quarantine experience where couples are compelled to stay in a confined space for an extended period of time with no “breathing space” will evoke underlying issues. This could be devastating if they have poor communication skills and an inability to resolve conflict. The elevated stress levels due to uncertainties, fears and anxiety regarding health, income, financial security, childcare and education, and added household chores are indeed a breeding ground for conflict and resentment to build up. The required skill set under survival mode is different from the one for normal life and spouses’ “true colours” come out. Seeking professional help during Lockdown is also difficult. These new dynamics may have added to previously unresolved issues prior to Lockdown that couples were unaware of. This can result in marriages that would have ended in a few years to now end in a few months instead, owing to the acceleration of the trajectory that the marriage was already on.

Looking at the situation, it is natural to expect a rise in divorce rates post Lockdown. Psychologists predict that the divorce rate will also rise in the USA and elsewhere and should be a warning for couples around the world. The decision to proceed with a divorce is one of the most crucial decisions a person can make with consequences that may last for a long time. Divorce is often threatened out of anger, frustration, or to force your spouse to change.

From working with various couples, the top 15 reasons for divorce are infidelity, lack of meaningful communication, unrealistic expectations, inability to resolve conflict, different interests and value systems, loss of love and intimacy, changes regarding sexual orientation, financial troubles and spending habits, different parenting styles or dealing with stepchildren and ex-partners, interference of parents or others, unforgiveness and resentment, emotional or physical abuse, mental and personality disorders, addictions and unwillingness to work on the marriage/attend marriage counselling.

Take time to consider why you want a divorce in the first place and if you are ready to face the emotional, financial and legal consequences. Take time to plan and prepare and make the decision in a responsible and mature way when you are calm. Emotionally charged decisions will not resolve the underlying problems.

Contact us should you require any further advice or information. We are ready to book consultations at our offices in line with the current Regulations and comply with the necessary health and safety requirements for your protection and ease of mind. We can also arrange for virtual meetings via Skype or Zoom upon request. Take care and stay safe.

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